5 Love Languages

There is a book out called "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman. Now, I have never read the book myself, but have only heard about it. From my understanding of what I hear of this book, there are essentially five languages in which we, as humans, communicate love and affection to one another. I understand that this is not limited to just a marriage type relationship, but how to relate to all people in general.

If you understand these love languages then you can better identify how to relate to people if you can identify the language they operate in the most. As I understand it, these languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. One of these is going to mean more to you personally than the others, though they may all make an impact on you.

Personally, I believe the one that means the most to me is Quality Time. To me, if you set aside time to invest in a relationship with me, whether an intimate relationship or just a friendship, it means more to me than anything else. I understand the sacrifice required, and am moved by the devotion to the relationship. I love to spend time with people. I am not nearly concerned about what happens during that time as much as I am in the investment of time with that person.

The next love language for me would probably be a tie between Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts. Again, both of these have a level of sacrifice required, a level of your personal resources utilized to invest in the relationship. I understand investment and resources, and when I see that someone is willing to invest their resources into me, that really says something to me. I am not nearly as concerned about Words of Affirmation because I really do not see that as a sacrifice, and most of the time it can be faked.

But, that is just my personal rendering of what I understand of the Five Love Languages. So, understanding my primarily love language, it is easy to discern when I am passionate and/or affectionate about someone—if I long to spend time with you.

On the flip side, understand also that I am a minister called by God, and my time is therefore not something I cannot invest unwisely. Knowing this, realize that I do not have time to waste on people who have no time for me. It does not matter what my feelings or emotions say about you, if you have no time for me, then I have no time for you.

That is a downside to Quality Time being my personal love language, because it has such a potential to conflict with my ministry calling. I believe this is one of the reasons why I have been called to be single for so long. I am a very passionate and compassionate person, and if I love someone, no matter the specifics of the relationship, they never doubt it and they never feel unloved.